The Illumination of the Tool-Using Sunday, Jun 24 2007 

Sometimes I have truly terrible ideas.

Like realizing that the stand-alone command-line implementation of Markdown in Python could be tied together with a command-line Python posting interface to LiveJournal and Eric the .5 Bee’s Twitter command-line tool, a good mix of scripting, and whatever text editor I feel like using at any given time to build a tool that not only posts with whatever format I want as my interface, but simultaneously updates my Twitter feed to reflect the subject line. The only thing it doesn’t do natively well is grab whatever music I’m listening to for the LJ post…

But, I could just have SAM4 write out a single-line update of whatever it’s playing on the Redoubt at any given moment, and just plug that in instead. Hmmmm. With some pre-processing on the file I’m submitting, it could strip out things like the Title and intended tags and even cons up some kind of Technorati tag block link, too. A generalized LJ template posting solution of my own, and all without having to write a whole new client, just bits and blocks as it goes…

The old-school Unix design spirit (”Here, let me plug these things together with pipes!”) lives on!

The Tribulation Post Sunday, Jun 24 2007 

I don’t think I can be too expressive about how annoyed I am at the moment with the state of LiveJournal client aps. Too many crashes and too much annoyance in formatting design. What I want right now is one that can actually embed images with a simple formatting directive to put it right/left as appropriate, make it a link, and let me go on with my life. SEmagic was my poison-of-choice, but it’s taken a significant dip into madness and chaos of late, and it’s less than usable now. I’ve had it crash three times today on me, and I find that unacceptable given my modest requirements.

What I wish I had was a simple Markdown to HTML editor that was reasonably stand-alone and had some additional ability to let me add-on to the syntax it understands to get things like quick-and-dirty tables / character formatting beyond bold/italic / embedded images with alignment tags and height/width working. I don’t think I’d need much more than that for my purposes. It’s almost enough to make me go digging around to see if there’s a Python-implemented Markdown processor that I could hack on. Or think about implementing something like it in Erlang.

Who’m I kidding? It’s not like I don’t have my hands full as is with Operation BSU. Which was what I was going to post about in the first place, today, and which led to this frustrating spiral of irritation with blogging tools available.

How, you might ask, am I posting this? I’m using the online Markdown parser (called “dingus,” in a rare sop to my cruel ego) to convert it into decent HTML, then I’ll cut-n-paste into the web posting facility of LiveJournal. I hate their implementation of rich-text editing because it’s insufficiently key-boardy, while Markdown is nothing but. Plus it rewrites to use the cool typographic quotes, an issue perhaps only I’m interested in, but there you go.

Grrr, say I. Grr.

Order of Hermes: Alison Vrai Saturday, Jun 23 2007 

Blame point5bEric the .5b for making me think of how to translate the Mage setting into Capes characters. Damn you, Eric.

Time to break out the latest incarnation of the Vrai line.


Alison Vrai
Traditions, Order of Hermes, House Tytalus
Powers Styles Attitudes

2

Arcane Shield

1

Incantation

3

Honest

4

Muto / Change

4

Ritual

2

Demanding

3

Mentem / Mind

2

Runes and Sigils

1

Sarcastic

1

Imagonem / Images

3

Brutal Realism

5

“Chaos, confusion and destruction. My work here is done.”
Drives

1

Truth

4

Obsession

1

Duty

2

Pride

1

Fear

Alison Vrai is the descendant of a long, long line of House Tytalus magi. Unfortunately for the House, her tastes ran neither to leadership nor to direct conflict with others. As a result, she hovers at the fringe of the House’s involvement with magic, which suits her just fine. Appearing to be in her late 30′s, Alison has been an active mage since the late 20′s. She always dresses more for comfort than for show, tending toward well-worn sweats and flannel shirts.

Sorcerously, Alison has spent her academic life exploring the mutability of perception and illusion in general. Her grasp of transformation is near the top of her field.


William Albacastle
Technocracy, Iteration X
Abilities Styles Attitudes

5

Forces

4

Drones

1

Detached

2

Correspondence

2

Parapalalegic

2

Arrogant

1

Mind

3

Property Damage

3

Annoyed

4

Construct Devices

1

Intimidation

3

Find Weakness
Drives

1

Obsession

1

Truth

3

Pride

1

Duty

3

Power

William Albacastle looks about 45 and is 38. He’s been confined to a wheelchair for the entirety of his adult life. Luckily, he discovered an affinity for constructing complex electronics when he was three and by the time he’d finished elementary school, had designed and built a complex waldo system to aid his failing muscles. Albacastle was offered a full scholarship to MIT’s online degree program by an organization called “The Brotherhood of the Virtual” which eventually recruited him at graduation into the Virtual Adepts. Albacastle worked with the VA for several years but eventually became disenchanted by their fixation on the mystical experience of technology while he believed less and less in any supernatural agency not explicable by rational science. His recruitment by the Technocracy’s Iteration X was a welcome change.

Albacastle has no patience for those who lack mental agility, engage in willful foolishness, or in any way measure up to what he considers a worthy being — ie. doesn’t aspire to be more like him. He considers his wasted body an annoyance and a burden to be ignored at the best of times. His powered wheelchair contains an interface rig for his omnipresent set of drones and waldoes.

Rate Me Tuesday, Jun 19 2007 

What's My Blog Rated? From Mingle2 - Free Online Dating

Mingle2Free Online Dating

Mmmm, 17-and-up …

Promethian! Monday, Jun 18 2007 

Your Score: Prometheus

33% Extroversion, 66% Intuition, 0% Emotiveness, 14% Perceptiveness

You are most like Prometheus, and you probably knew that before you even took this test. You probably aren’t deliberately altruistic, but you still tend to do things that benefit everyone, even at great expense to your health and personal relationships. You aren’t ruled by your emotions, but you still have a strong sense of justice. You make good descisions, but they can sometimes backfire (and this isn’t due to a flaw in your reasoning, but due to faulty premises instead).

You are very reasonable, you understand systems, you can quickly pinpoint flaws and you know how to correct them. You pride understanding and knowledge above everything else, and your greatest fear is to appear to be incompetent. You tend to be contemptuous of authority, but you don’t accept leadership roles yourself until everyone else has demonstrated their own incompetence.

You’ve built a very specific skill set. You know exactly where your strengths and weaknesses are, and you pride yourself on this kind of self-knowledge. You distrust tradition, which you see as arbitrary, and you rely instead on your own judgements. You also pride yourself on your pragmatism. You’re also a very private person.

Most of all, people think you’re arrogant, but screw them! They’re the ones who benefit from your ideas and discoveries, and if they took the time to understand why it is that you say and think the things you do, they’d realize that you only appear arrogant because you are exactingly precise when it comes to your area of specification, and most of all because, when you don’t know something, you don’t have an opinion about it (unlike most of the loudmouths that you have to deal with on a day-to-day basis).

Relationships are your kryptonite. It isn’t that you don’t want them — in fact, you would very much like a very close relationship with someone who understands you. They’re just the one thing in the world that you’re naturally bad at.

Famous people like you: Niels Bohr, J. Robert Oppenheimer, Werner Heisenberg, Issac Newton, John Maynard Keynes, Erwin Schrodinger

Stay Clear of: Apollo, Icarus, Hermes, Aphrodite

Seek out: Atlas, The Oracle, Daedalus

Link: The Greek Mythology Personality Test written by Aleph_Nine on OkCupid, home of the The Dating Persona Test

I … can’t really say that this is immensely far off, except for my ability to keep my mouth shut when I don’t know something. I’ve worked on that, so it’s not a complete wash, mind you.

Operation BSU Episode II is Online Monday, Jun 18 2007 

Voot! The latest Operation BSU is up and online.

A pretty solid show this week. Production values are up, the special musical guest was DJ Bnaut, and the conversation this week wallowed around in it’s ranty way through emergency rooms, odd anime, the definition of Libertarianism, and Warhammer versus Warcraft.

Next week, Operation BSU moves to Saturday at 9p Eastern for one night.

BSU #2: The Revenge Pre-Show! Sunday, Jun 17 2007 

You’ve got about 45min to prepare for the beginning of Operation BSU. We go live with the pre-show at 8:45p Eastern and the show goes hot in the LZ at 9:00p sharp, or as sharp as I can herd these cats together to do.

Tonight’s topics include:

  • Health, community, and all the terrifying ER stories you can take from Dr. Fishkisser.
  • The Big Leneski covering Mr Wizard, beer, and anime.
  • A cool, secret, live musical guest and their vote-worthy song!
  • The Half-a-Bee defining Libertarianism, talking about Genarlow Wilson and being generally politically cranky, and
  • The SquidLord going on about Warhammer Online, Ghost Rider, and Facebook.
  • Plus the usual insane free-for-all until 11p!

Tune in, turn on, and drop out — of your mind, as the madness accumulates.

Remember, you can call in and be a live guest on the show as well as anyone! See the website for details, but if you can’t call in, at least pop into the chatroom and keep us amused with perverse and off-colour comments in text. And tell your friends!

Ursula Needs Motivation Sunday, Jun 17 2007 

Just for you, ursulavUrsulaV

Joshua Christi, He’s Back! Saturday, Jun 16 2007 

[21:59] : http://i11.tinypic.com/4pmxyeg.jpg
[21:59] point5b: And the excellent comment:
[22:00] point5b: Jesus plays SHADOWRUN??

Guess that makes sense, you need patience to count all those d6′s.
“Okay, this is a simple run. You go in, locate the poor and downtrodden and unload some hope and salvation at them. If you run into any crippled or blind, heal the bastards without thinking twice. The means of exctraction are as usual: martyrs death while spreading the gospel of the lord to the unbelievers. See you in heaven.”

[22:00] exopilot: [laugh] OK, Old Testament as Shadowrun. There’s a Nobilis game waiting to happen.

Or, at need, Capes

I’ve already done God, Jesus, and Lucifer in Capes, which is undoubtedly going to send me right to Hell. I’m horribly, horribly tempted to go pull Nobilis off my shelf and start statting out God as an Imperator, and Jesus, The Holy Ghost and Lucifer as Powers thereof. (This is, technically, wholly at odds with the original Nobilis setting write-up, but since I’m responsible for injecting a dose of yaoi romanticism between God and Lucifer in there, I feel comfortable further mangling things horribly.)

Jesus as Shadowrunner, though … This could be fun.


Joshua Christi
Son of God and Ass-Kicker

Powers Styles Attitudes
2 Mana Blast 3 Son of God 2 Kind
1 Mind Control 2 Angels Among Us 1 Gentle
3 Summoning 1 Flash-Backs 3 Ass-Kicking
4 Resurrection 5 Aggressive
4 No-Nonsense
Drives

2

Love

4

Justice

1

Hope

1

Truth

1

Duty

You know, it was a lot more straightforward in the New Testament. Things were simple. No Aztechnology, no magic reawakened in the world, no two-guns-akimbo street sammies running hither and yon without giving two-farts-in-a-whirlwind about the Message of God. Honestly, Joshua had no real inclination to even come back. A few more centuries and the bone-headed morons on Earth might get some of their heads on straight.

No such luck.

Instead, Josh gets sent back to the world with nothing but the fact he’s doing the Will of God and His Son, a charming affinity with summoning the spirits and powers of the air, a Holy Writ for the angels — who are feeling kind of pissed and ignored, anyway — and a bad case of post-traumatic stress disorder from the last time he dropped in. All that and a Desert Eagle in each fist.

The Son of God is back. And, boy, is he pissed.

Redoubt Request Change Saturday, Jun 16 2007 

On a rare whim — granted, not that rare — I decided to change the way the queue on the Squid’s Redoubt works.

Firstly, I upped the default queue size from two songs to five. Why? Because I’ve figured out how to do remote voice tracking on the system, which means I can actually do live DJ’d shows at a few minutes’ time-delay. And that means I can play with some folks listening and be a hardcore jock when the mood strikes me if anyone’s around. Good practice for playing a real show between Sunday Operation BSU episodes.

Unrelated, but noteworthy, not this coming Sunday but the next will actually be on Saturday. If you want automatic email updates on the status and schedule of Operation BSU, drop me a line and I’ll put you on the list.

Secondly, because of the change in the queue length, making requests doesn’t get you immediate feedback (or at least, within 6min feedback) of the fact requests are in the queue. Not the case anymore! I’ve just cut four rotating request intros that go at the top of the queue when the request-check script runs. Now, you get immediate feedback on whether your song is going into the queue, or at least feedback that runs every 6min for the check …

If anyone has any suggestions for new bits or wants to submit some, for any of the promos that run on the Redoubt, let me know. I’m happy to take all comers. :)

Returned From the Front Thursday, Jun 14 2007 

Well, if that wasn’t a day.

If you’ve been following on Twitter, you know how much fun today was. He says with ironic, cynical detachment.

It probably should have been enough of a head’s-up when we got down to the SJ opening in the four vehicles we’d dragged along and found a big jack-knifed rig blocking most of it. Apparently, the poor bastard had been barelling up 85 and didn’t see or know about the three zoms that were clinging to the semi-trailer. The rest is kind of inevitable; they clawed their way along the side and top of the truck, got on the cab, and he plowed into an overpass support as it spun. Instant barricade and a little extra fire.

With a little patience and some injudicious ramming from a guy in a Hummer, we managed to clear stuff enough to go around the end. Slow going, and the dead cars along the way north and south never helped, but it only held us up a bit. By the time we got to Project, I was starting to get a little nervous, if only because seeing zoms clinging to the side of skyscrapers, the underside of overpasses, and the like is disconcerting. You don’t typically think of zombies being a 3d threat, but the current crop seem to enjoy digging into almost anything with their claws. This was something that’d come back to haunt me.

Duh.

So, yes, Project. The zoms were pretty quiescent by the time we made it downtown, and busting through a few security doors we didn’t have keycards for wasn’t that big a deal. Power’s still in to Atlanta for the next bit, I’d imagine; the power-stations are largely self-regulating, anyway. Then there was the issue of dragging the crap out of the facility without destroying it irreparably. That was where the hard part was, and it was hot, sweaty work even for me, who didn’t carry more than a few cables and some manuals. Oh, yeah, and went crawling under a raised floor in the IT space, looking for a connection. Sometimes it sucks being a little guy.

By 5p or so, the zoms were starting to get squirmy again and they’d apparently figured out there were a few tasty morsels moving around on West Peachtree. I swear, they have some kind of mystic hive-mind thing going on, because we could literally see the wave of awareness spreading down the blocks, about walking-pace. If it’s a network, it’s a slow bloody thing. Anyway, were were pretty much done and just securing things.

That is, of course, when the fuckers decided to jump out of the manhole. In retrospect, I suppose I should have expected that, but three of the zoms dragged down two of the guys I was out with in seconds next to the lead truck, and then things got complicated. You don’t need a play-by-play and I’m not even sure I could give you one, but insert a lot of running around and sweating and slashing zombies with whatever weapons we had on hand and you get the idea. When the trucks (the three left, anyway) rolled out, there were uglies hanging on the sides of all of them, and some very unhappy guys getting left behind.

What can I say? I hate bite-transmitted infection.

Blam blam, slashy-slashy, the one thing that’s true about all zoms is their utter predictability. Keep your head on straight and you can just wait for the buggers to clamber to the cab looking for tasty, then blow their heads off or decapitate them as necessary. That does take some time, though, so by the time we were sure the trucks were clear of hitchers, it was later than I would have liked.

No brainer after that. Cart the crap back out, tip hats to the guys on the Perimeter, and home sweet home.

Strategic Considerations Thursday, Jun 14 2007 

stellabambinoStarchild expects me to say, “Oh. Shit. Zombies,” right now. I refuse to give him the satisfaction.

Honestly, guys, I live in the South, in suburban Atlanta. Wave on waves of zombies? Just not happening here; there are enough hunters and general good ol’ boys that the cemeteries didn’t make much difference in the grand scheme of things. A couple pick-ups at each one and zap, no more threat from there. The big Civil War battlefields were a little more interesting, but the re-enactors ended up policing their own. Zombies, after all, don’t actually use grapeshot cannon or massed musket-fire. Battlefields? No problem.

No, the real problem, as it always is — Atlanta proper. A couple small urban cemeteries, a couple jump-up guys, and the infection starts moving through the urban population like wildfire. Zombies are persistant, and I mean that in both the state-expression and social sense of the word. Worst place to hide? Multi-floor skyscraper, trying to close off the stairwells. Aside from the obvious “how do you eat?” the Zoms will claw their way through barricades or into air-ducts like rats, working their ways up. You’ll just die tired and add to the number pouring back out at the bottom of the day.

I live in the ‘burbs, though, and if there’s one thing you learn living in the Atlanta-Metro ‘burbs, it’s how much everyone hates ITP folk. That’s “Inside The Perimeter” by their own naming. Snooty, rich, stuck-up pricks pretty much sums it up. Now it’s in the best interest of everyone on the outside that the ITP folks stay there, so they’ve kind of implemented an idea I had as a premise for an anime script, way back when.

The Perimeter is a huge wave of fire. Cars are lined up nose to tail and set alight, burning thirty, forty feet high. There are a couple access areas at Spaghetti Junction and on the Southside along 85, but the rest?

It’s beautiful.

Not really my idea, I have to admit, but I’m doing my part out here. A few of us strolled into the CDC to see if there were any suspiciously dropped blue vials or the like (only the gauche call it “looting,” I think of it as “urban exploration”) but it occurred to me that there was enough hardware there to at least try and figure out if it was your traditional zombie-virus or zombie-radiation effect. It’s not like the things were hard to come by to use as test subjects, and only one of the other guys came out of it all with a bite, so net win, in my book.

No virus. No weird alien meteorite radiation, like the news was spewing. Disappointing, really.

That does leave a few options for causes, but I’ll just have to grab a few books here (like the text on Chaldean sorcery that tryptophanHeather bought me for Christmas; bet y’didn’t know that’d be practical use, did you, hon?) and get ready in the next half-hour, because there’s a jaunt into the Perimeter through the SJ Gate to hit the TV and radio stations, looking for enough hardware to build at least a mid-power station in the northern ‘burbs. Somehow, I ended up overseeing that madness, but at least it’s something to do. If they left me to myself, I’d probably just sit around and fiddle with invocations until I turned myself into a conscious super-zombie with control of other local undead as a nodal …

Well, you get the idea.

Once I get downtown, I need to get Project and WSB hooked up as repeaters in the BLITEOTW network. Then I get home, pop my feed on from SAM4 and voila. Live zombie apocalypse talk radio, music to kill zoms by, and me at the helm. Not as cool as being a super-zombie, but a longer lifespan.

In theory.

Further updates from my Twitter on the go.

Imagi-Nation Monday, Jun 11 2007 

Not the card game, you mooks.

Operation BSU: Episode 1: The Incept Monday, Jun 11 2007 

Episode 1 is in the can, with Doctor Fishkisser, The Big Leneski, Eric the Half-a-Bee and the one and only SquidLord putting in a solid two hours of talk, and a musical guest in nothing like real-time.

There’s a good deal of production in this show, but we’re still hammering out the rough edges. OK, I’m hammering out the rough edges; overall, I’m decently happy with it, but I definitely can’t use bed music given some of the stream limitations, and I really need to record from my Virtual Audio Cable to a split, so that I can capture a higher-quality audio output. Still, a damn fine show, all considered.

If you were to want to download the audio straight from here, well, I couldn’t object.

I’m tired. Time to drug up and crash out.

Practice Makes Perfect Friday, Jun 8 2007 

Greed: Very High
Gluttony: Very High
Wrath: High
Sloth: High
Envy: High
Lust: Very High
Pride: High

Take the Seven Deadly Sins Quiz

Hmmm, looks like I need to work on my Envy, it seems to be falling behind in the race to get ahead. Perhaps it works better when there are things to work toward ahead of it.

Mmmm, Weirdness Tuesday, Jun 5 2007 

So, zamiel, your LiveJournal reveals…

You are… 4% unique
(blame, for example, your interest in stargrunt ii)
and 9% herdlike
(partly because you, like everyone else, enjoy writing).
When it comes to friends you are popular. In terms of the way you relate to people, you are keen to please.

Your writing style (based on a recent public entry) is conventional.

Your overall weirdness is: 28

(The average level of weirdness is: 27.
You are weirder than 63% of other LJers.)

Find out what your weirdness level is!

I’m weirder than creativedv8tionFeck Me, I’m Irish … He gets laid a lot more than I do, which goes right to the root of issues.

Squid Assaulting the Netwaves, Again! Monday, Jun 4 2007 

I did a bit of a turn on the talk show circuit this morning, mainly as an excuse to turn on the new audio rig setup for the production and media management, and plug it into the digital phone …

And, dayum, I sound friggin’ great with a little bit of audio volume compression and EQ. I might need just a hint more high-end or to drop the base a bit, but other than that, it’s sweet, sweet wonderment.

EPISODE40 – Spontaneous Speaking – AM Chat

Hey, Spontaneous Speaking was the only thing on that wasn’t overtly Christian cheerleading at that time of the morning.

It’s kind of a weird feeling to end up resonating the feeling that, compared to the bulk of the Net, I’m the worst kind of racist Conservative, and I don’t mind it at all. Which is groovy in all kinds of ways. :)

If you tune in, I come in about 56min in, and ride out to the end. It’s good times, kids. I want Rush Limbaugh’s job. It’s way more fun than playing music.

And on that note, remember, this coming Sunday is the first episode of Squid’s Redoubt: Operation BSU. We’ll be talking video games, the big Livejournal kerfluffle, and possibly some Hit and Run libertarian politics if I can get my hardcore H&R correspondent to be there. (I’m looking at you, point5bEric the .5b … you know you’ve got responsibilities.)

Listening only requires you hit the Squid’s Redoubt: Operation BSU website, then tap the Listen button. I suggest popping the Join In button if only so you can make sniping little text comments to the hosts, even if you don’t want to chime in with your dulcet tones. If you desire sharing your point of view with the world at large, you can hook up with us via SIP softphone (Xlite or SJphone) or by calling straight in with your cell or land-line! Dial in, hit the airwaves, and mock and be mocked by some of the best folks in the business.

Or … something.

Shit. Zombies. Sunday, Jun 3 2007 

72%Mingle2Free Online Dating

Only that? But I have the book!

Operation BSU: Episode #1 Sunday, Jun 3 2007 

Powered by TalkShoe I can only blow smoke up my ass for so long before I have to actually get something done and lay some pipe for the structure to get built on. In that light, I’m putting a hard stake out there, at 9pm on Sunday night EDT. The show will probably be up about 15min before the drop-dead time, to give you time to hook up and roll out the technology for big time listening.

The name:

Operation BSU (Blow Shit Up)

The plan:

Put together a charmingly surrealistic show, full of the sound and fury of the geek setting. From the tempest-in-a-teapot about the Livejournal deletions, to the incipient beta of Warhammer Online, we’re going to be tackling the stories kicking around the blogosphere and, sometimes, in your very own apartments.

The people:

  • SquidLord:
    Head jock, head production engineer, head writer — if anyone, he needs a little head.
  • stellabambinoStarchild:
    Local LARP expert, Ed McMahon-wannabe, guest liaison.
  • tryptophanHeather:
    Medical consultant, emergency triage, surgery, obstetrics, bi-component toxic radioactive terrorism.
  • point5bEric the .5b:
    Databases, corporate cultural environments, fabulous flaming libertarian, and general prosaic pedant.

The technology:

All you need to listen is a browser and the desire to hit the site. If you want to talk, or think you might, there are two ways to keep in mind:

  • The easiest is to simply call the show via your phone. (724) 444-7444, with the talkcast ID (33899) at the prompt. You’ll need to have signed up with Talkshoe before hand, and that’d give you the ten-digit personal login. Put all that in and you’ll be hooked right in with the broadcast. Wait for the tone that tells you you’re free to talk, and you’re off to the races!
  • Use Gizmo for Livejournal or SJphone/Xlite with free VoxAlot accounts, then connect to the server directly with the IP. You’ll get the same login key stroke requirements, and then a direct connect just as if you were on the phone.

Once you’re on, you’re good to roll. Get the line, jump into the fray.

If you remember to connect to the Talkshoe Live applet, you can read the associated text room comments and stay involved with that inter-listener feedback.

The bottom line:

We can’t do it alone. We need cool people willing to jump in and be passionate about their subjects. We need you to bring your friends or just folks you think’d been cool right on in. Give them a hook and come on for the ride.

The whole thing will be recorded for podcasting, so you can download the whole beastly thing once it’s done and the files are in place.

You, every one of you, can get on the air and say the one thing you’ve wished to have people hear since it first came to you. We want to hear it.

Bring it.

Urge to Rant … Rising … Wednesday, May 30 2007 

Though not as much as you might think.

Why? Well, let’s talk about Warriors for Innocence. Let’s talk about Six Apart. Hell, let’s even talk about Warren Ellis.

Don’t bother going to the WfI site, incidentally. Aside from being possibly the worst designed website on the face of the Earth and possibly including orbital bases, it’s about as useful as tits on a boar-hog, as my father might say. Even ignoring the swath of JavaCrud it attempts to spew on you.

Why would I want to talk about Warren Ellis, you might ask?

Warren, Hell love ‘im, decided to post this in response the current tempest-in-a-teapot:

Until such time as LiveJournal/Six Apart work out how to tell the difference between fantasy fiction communities/support groups/fashion discussion communities/survivor histories and actual criminal use and traffic, and restore those fiction groups and survivor support teams to full working order, my own LiveJournal will become read-only, and I will produce no new content to be read on that system.

I do believe that some stupid people got what was coming to them today. But a lot more people have been mistreated by LiveJournal for no reason beyond blind panic. I see no reason to tacitly support that by continuing to write under a LiveJournal URL.

My main website, is, of course, warrenellis.com, and that already exists as LJ feed warrenelliscom.

No, Warren, buddy, if you really cared about the issue, you’d just yank your LJ wholly with just a forwarding message to your new home on, oh, any of the ten-thousand alternatives to LJ that exist (barring Vox, TypePad, or MovableType, since all of them are owned by Six Apart) with nothing but a charming forwarding-message left behind to quell the dust. That is, pointedly, not what you did. What you actually did was what pretty much evertyne else I see around is doing, scurrying about looking for the most wretched excuse for social posturing that is conceivable. You gave out what, at best, can be seen as a very low decible whine, and muttered, “I’m going to take my balls and go home!” while meaningfully stomping your feet.

This is not, let me be clear, to say that Six Apart has been behaving in anything more than the most boneheaded and incredibly stupid of manners in this context. Can SA truthfully do nothing more than rock back and forth like an autistic child and randomly blurt out names that someone’s complained about before sending them off to the cornfield? We’re not even talking about some kind of sustained suicide-bombing effort against the SA compounds, which we might actually accept as a poor-but-understandable motivation. We just have SA getting what appears to be an email flood from a given organization that has a site that’s about as unprofessional as they come, has no official backing that folks can turn up (and which legitimate groups post clearly and frequently), and who doesn’t even seem to have the basic underpinnings of anything more than a well-orchestrated hoax.

“Hoax?” I hear you saying. “What do you mean, man!? These kooks comvinced SA to shut down communities!”

Hoax is exactly what I mean. Did anyone but me notice the recent meme-exploit that moved across LJ in the guise of Yet Another Quiz? How about the revent Eve Online / Goonswarm situation, with all the Goon’s “conveniently revealed” information coming just before a holiday period such that Eve couldn’t respond for a crucial several day period?

At a certain point in every social group, the number of assholes becomes self-selecting and spontaneously-organizing in a self-supporting way. It appears the number of folks on the Net with factional agendas has reached such a point with various subcultures. Oh, joy. Moreover, the number of idiots in positions of decision-making power has always been unnaturally large, as a result of the rest of us promoting them just to keep them away from the things that really matter to keeping an organization running. Thus, SA‘s decision-making in this environment.

So, bottom-lining it, my take on this whole situation is that Warriors for Innocence is an elaborate hoax taking on the mantle of an anti-pedo front, but really just a few idiotic shit-stirrers with too much time on their hands. Compound this with Six Apart being suddenly paranoid about how things might be taken (despite the fact that in their own ToS, they disavow responsibility for things posted to LiveJournal) and the fact that a lot of the folks in the most-affected communities are the inhibitors of a universe which is constructed of two things, themselves and drama. The result is predictable: A chunk of stupid from the SA admin and a whole swath of hand-wringing from a whole lot of people no one would have given two-farts-in-a-whirlwind about two days ago … and still don’t.

I don’t care if you think it’s Confederate-flag-waving anti-UN Redneck Mafia members behind it. I don’t care if you threaten to take 0.000000001% of the LJ population with you and go home. I really don’t care if you think you need to change your interests and blog content for fear of being shut down, because that’s just being a drama queen.

What I do care about is the fact that yet another tempest-in-a-teapot is exploding with much overwrought bullshit floating around and nothing at the root of it. Don’t trust Six Apart anymore? Roll out and change your blogging site, it’s not hard. “The Net recognizes censorship as damage and routes around it appropriately.” If you don’t decide to do that, then you really don’t care enough to do something about it beyond a token amount.

Me? I don’t care enough to do anything about it beyond a token. But I have a great token!

The phrase you’re looking for here is “bring it.”

Blasphemous Whispers
by Alexander Williams

Even after, she wasn’t sure what was the worst of it.

At first, she thought it was the caress of his cold, dead hands, with nails chipped and slightly ragged. She could feel the trickle of blood where it stroked along her inner thigh, dragging a gash behind it like the wake of a dying fish.

Then, she considered whether it was the smell of his breath, that carrion odor like an open grave. There were many open graves on the outskirts of Vandread, some of the only open soil allowed to see the sky there, and she’d always connected the scent of freshly turned dirt and rotting flesh with a sort of freedom, with a release from concerns. But his breath just smelled like death, even if the clay of his body yet moved.

Finally, she decided it was the look of him. Pale, like a raw bone, and thin like one, too. His naked body stood in the center of the circle and writhed in a way that recalled serpents, or worms. His arms shifted with fluid grace along patterns of force only the blasphemous and the damned could see.

It occurred to her that she was starting to see them, undulating as if waves in the sea caught in lightning. This only slightly discomfited her.

Once, before the Lord’s minions had descended on her clave and pointed her out, marked her for taking, dragged her away from family, friends, and servants, she was named Anise. Like the flower. Her hair had been black and rich, falling to her ankles in mahogany-black. Her eyes, too, were dark and deep, like her mind.

That mind, like her father before her, had led her to her researches, of course. She served the City of Thorns, the City of Iron, in a needed role: Public Necromancer. Theurgia Publicus. By the time she was thirteen, she had raised the dead, consulted the spirits, and sent demons screaming back to Hell wrapped in nothing but her ire. Demons from Hell didn’t frighten her. The dead, walking or not, didn’t frighten her.

The man who’d just turned toward her, one hand raised to the metal ceiling, encrusted with empty-eyed skulls, the other curled lightly about his phallus, stroking in time with the rhythm of the chant, he scared her. Terrified her, in fact. The knowledge that when she was thirteen and already conjuring fiends, he was a thousand years old, maybe more, and had not sent the fiends to Hell but bound them in cold iron, fused them with his body, made them serve him like dirty whores, that made her bones jelly and her knees sag and her wrists protest against the iron manacles that kept her nearly on tip-toe.

Anise was thirty now. Thirteen was long past. To him, the intervening time wasn’t a lifetime, it was an eye blink.

As she watched him stroke his shaft, watched it grow hard and thick in his hand, she was both terrified and wonderfully excited.

This was Th’esus Hummel, Third Lord of Vandread.

He leaned in closer to her, his long dark hair nearly as long as hers, pulled back in a simple half-braid. The pinkness of his lips was stark on his pale face, and it added an extra fillip to his liquid expressions. It was lust there, now, but she wasn’t sure if it was for her or the thing he was calling.

“Soon, little Anise, soon. I think we’ll have what I’m looking for soon enough. I’ve already found part of it, no?” He paused, looked at her with a little moue of dissatisfaction. Some part of her shivered at the look, and that earned a bit of a quirk of the lip from him.

Something in Anise turned loose with a gush. “Haven’t you had enough, Hummel? Haven’t you –” and it stopped again as she felt him move around behind her, felt the coolness of his chest to her back.

The knife in his fist that came around from behind her drew her eyes more than the roiling in the circle. It was black and silver, obsidian-bladed.

It was a sacrificial knife. And it hovered over her breast, a hungry wasp.

The tip teased along under the nipple. “I never have enough, my pet,” whispered into her ear, and she imagined she could see it curling around in whorls of smoke. “I take what I want, and I want much.” Or – hadn’t you noticed?”

The hard, sharp thrust upwards which sent his shaft into her came as less surprise than she wanted, much less surprise than the fact that her body had betrayed her and was ready for him, ready and wanton for him. Her fists rattled the chains as she tried, agonizingly, to drag herself away from him, but the demon he had bound into the iron made her sluggish, made the body like one at the bottom of the sea. Her intended hard pull away ended up like nothing so much as a sensuous writhe.

She couldn’t tell then if the chains forced her to that – or simply let her. A hundred nights nor a hundred years later, she still didn’t know.

All she remembered was his laugh.

“Good, good!” he murmured after the chuckle had flown by, as sharp as the knife cutting its way across her breasts. “That’s a good little girl, yes. Just what you needed, hmm? And what I needed.” Another thrust speared up into her, as he murmured, not to her but the chains and they fell a foot or so, enough to leave her hanging forward just a bit.

All the better for his pleasure.

“I hate you,” Anise spit at the floor. “I hate you, hate all of you. The rotting stench of you sickens me. You’re dead inside.” She tried to turn her mind toward the circle, tried to ignore the violation she was experiencing but had no control over. She even thought of the knife, and how the lazy gestures it was making on her chest reminded her of certain rune-marks she’d seen in the Deep City. Her body, though, betrayed her at the end, slipping out a groan to punctuate her hate.

Part of her loved him.

The wicked smile he wore radiated against her back. The thickness of him made her thighs quiver, and her sex ache. It wasn’t the first time she’d been taken (not even the first time by something arguably utterly inhuman), but it was the first time she’d been used without her consent. She could feel the degradation dripping down her inner thighs.

“Oh, but you’re so alive inside.” A thrust. Another. There was no real rhythm, no real time, except – there was. It matched the beating of the Black Heart of Hell, the screams of the dying.

He dropped the knife. In a sense, she felt relieved and in another she was more sickened than ever. Now both his hands were free.

Both of his hands went to her breasts, jerking her upright, pulling her back so his manhood pushed against the underside of her clit with the force of another blade. She screamed, wordless and high.

His scream joined hers, curled around it, mocked and echoed it. His nails dug hard, hard into her breasts, teasing the nipples, bruised and bloodied already, to a higher heat. Her sex answered, clenching tight around the white-hot iron inside, buckling and suckling.

Hair thrashing, she was wordless. Nothing sufficed to verbalize how much she hated him, and hated being so helpless. Words paled. Only the Hell Speech answered, and it came like a whipcord.

The language of demons and the dead is a potent thing, and he answered it in kind. Marks appeared on her skin, branded by the force of it, his name repeated in the script of the Book of Black Law, in her secret places, on her flesh like burns, everywhere. Her hatred and filth made manifest insects which burned in the air and bit them both.

It only seemed to spur him on. His hands dropped to her hips, his hard length from her hungry slit to her untainted ass. When he pushed within, she wasn’t sure if the scream was from the pain or from the suddenly empty gaping void which drooled juice and blood from between her thighs.

A word whispered upwards and the chains dropped her to the floor, just within the circle, thrown roughly forward so the cold granite bloodied her nose, turned it into a gruesome flower to mock her name. Anise was caught beneath the weight of the dark man, the empty man, and enjoyed it.

Looking up and forward, her hair caught in hands like claws, dragged back until her neck ached, she gazed directly into the heart of the maelstrom that circled the ceiling above, felt her body reaching the point of absence, mingling unconsciousness and a lesser death, and could not close her eyes against the onrushing horror.

When she came, it was without a sound. Only the storm answered her, and that only by reaching out and down.

Th’esus Hummel withdrew from her violated ass, turned her to face him, and looked into her eyes. The coldness inside made him smile. The cold, hard hands that guided her to take his blooded shaft in her mouth and suckle her own ruin from it, hungrily, greedily, even, made her shudder because she remembered those hands.

When he came, she swallowed every drop. In no way would she let even the slightest fraction of him escape.

The slap across her face that drove her on her back into the center of the circle dropped like lightning. Anise’s black eyes met those of Th’esus Hummel.

“I hate you, father.”

“Good, my pet. This will serve you well.”

And then the demon was on her, it was in her, and she was made into the thing of her father, his pet, his soldier, and if desired, his sacrifice. She died as her blood crept out on the floor, while Th’esus violated his daughter, took her, ass and cunt and soul, ravaged and raped her, and the body he tossed casually into the circle was made to receive the beast that descended.

A hundred years later, in her father’s bed, having watched him fall asleep, she still hated him. A hundred years later, watching the sleeping man who was nothing less than her father, she loved him. A hundred years later, she was still his toy, his thing.

Anise Hummel would have it no other way.

Talkin’ Squidtalk With the Squid Tuesday, May 29 2007 

Last night was more than a little strange, in the sense of getting really tied up in something and being up way, way later than I intended to be. In this case, I popped onto Talkshoe and looked for something to listen to. Perhaps reasonably, I tuned in to a show called Mantalk With Bill And Brent.

I really didn’t expect anything more interesting than The Man Show without the bouncing boobies to distract me from the unappetizing dialog, but was pointedly not what I got. Instead, I ended up hearing the Radio Outlaw, Bill Bege, who’s an old-school long-experienced radio guy start telling stories from getting into the business. This is where things start spinning out in a more strange direction.

Episode125 – Mantalk With Bill and Brent

About 4min in, you can hear the influence of my texting in the listening-room to the Outlaw. I inject bits about Air America.

At 18:30 — you get the fun of my initial foray into the zone. And there I stay for the next 2h:40m or so.

Kind of cool to get on a fairly listened to old-school jock to talk to you for a while running. Almost enough to make me think about jumping over to WGST 640, just to check out opportunities for the geekdom production.

A Really Good Shoe For You Tonight Sunday, May 27 2007 

In an effort to try and put together the kind of call-in radio show that folks seem to believe I should be hosting, I’ve been tinkering about with various bits and forms of technology, and believe I’ve found at least a partial solution.

Talkshoe.

Yes, it’s an old TV reference. I didn’t create it, don’t blame me.

Amusingly, the first show I actually listened to live, I kind of got dragged in to talking on, rather unexpectedly. Military and the Media turned out to be an interesting bit. Yes, I’m the SquidLord guy yapping away about 20 minutes in. I suppose that would be obvious to anyone that regularly caught my podcasts.

Interesting technology, but my softphone disconnected a bit into it, and Talkshoe wouldn’t let me re-establish connection. Most annoying.

100 x 100 Saturday, May 26 2007 

Courtesy of kataishkkkataish:

100 Girls and 100 Octopuses

Original: 100 Girls and 100 Octopuses.

Now, if I could just find a list of all the women on the planet that like this piece and, particularly, find it erotic, my life will be somewhat easier.

Warcraft Life Saturday, May 26 2007 

Gnome Warlock
m-gnome.jpgwarlock.jpg

Gnomes are strange little things. Fascinated with gadgets and shiny things, gnomes are often plotting and planning – but are pretty smart, despite all the explosions.

You’re a creepy, creepy warlock. You delight in the darker things in life – such as setting people on fire, and delight in the macabre. You’d probably fake your own death just to freak people out by getting up from the casket at your funeral.

Find out your real-life WoW race and class at QuizGalaxy.com

GNOME Warlock? You’d think if it were a well-tuned test, I’d be far more likely to be an Undead Warlock. Though my gut suggests this test doesn’t actually cover the Horde races, sadly.

Warlock, however, is pretty dead-on correct. More accurately, I’m Richard from LFG.

Location Location Location Saturday, May 26 2007 

Alright, I’m not at FMX the rest of the weekend, and this is probably a good thing. I can only take so much sunburn, I ended up caked in red clay — which I’m still horking out of my nose — and, frankly, an hour drive to the station followed by a 2hr drive to the site only to be there, be pretty useless in general, then pack up to head back … yeah, as tryptophanHeather would say, “Not my favourite.”

So, today, I’m concealed in my dark, cool, relatively-quiet cave of a Lair, letting my eyes and skin regenerate. If things go well, I’ll feel up to leaving it by mid-afternoon.

Bitter Sunlight Thursday, May 24 2007 

Guys, I’ll be headed out to Project at 5a so that I can staff the FMX event all day. Every day of the weekend.

If for some strange, twisted, deranged reason you’re going to be at the event or want to be there, or just want to hang out with me, or have a secret — or public! — crush on me, you probably have my cell already and can get in touch, giving me the opportunity to possibly save you the measly $10 at the door. If you don’t have it, well, I’m not sure how you’d get in touch with me. I suggest dropping email to me and expecting I won’t get to see it until the night, when I roll exhaustedly in home, check email, take drugs, and go to sleep with the intent of doing it all again the next day.

In case you’re curious as to location:

Directions to Durhamtown Plantation:

I – 20 East (twoard Augusta)
Use EXIT #130 turn left across the bridge
Turn Right onto Broad Street in Greenboro

Follow for 11 miles and cross over Hwy 77 in Woodville

Continue on the main road for 3.3 miles to the stop sign

Turn left onto Randolph Church Rd and go 3.5 miles to DP

“Double-penetration” is only how I’ll feel on, say, Saturday at around 5p after two days in the hot sun. By Sunday, I may be looking for DP if it’ll get me out of the hot sun.

Existentional Cubism Wednesday, May 23 2007 

From the comments:

This an existential psychological play was named “The Man in the Cube” and was written and produced by Jim Hensen (prior to his Muppets productions). It was broadcast on NBC’s “Experiments in Television” series in 1969. It stars actor Richard Schaal, father of actress Wendy Schaal and one-time husband of Valerie Harper.

My commentary: This is evil and cruelty distilled into a nice, tight, one-hour of suffering. I always knew Jim Henson had a dark, bile-ladened streak of evil tucked inside a green sock-puppet.

Heroic Persona Wednesday, May 23 2007 

Your Score: Isaac Mendez

You scored 8 Idealism, 54 Nonconformity, 87 Nerdiness

I need painting supplies . Congratulations, you’re Isaac Mendez! You’re a talented, creative, artistic soul with a few demons you’ve been working to overcome. You are really passionate person and you are not afraid to express yourself or your emotions. Your best quality: Creativity and artistic talent. Your worst quality: A possibly addictive or indulgent personality

Link: The Heroes Personality Test written by freedomdegrees on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

OK, not to put too fine a point on it, but … how the fuck does that happen? Isaac Mendez? If I had the ability to read the future, the last thing I’d have to go with it would be heroin and a terror of my own ability. Syler picking up that skillset was the best thing that could’ve happened to Mendez. Dweeb.

Superdrunks Ish 2: Buddy Movie Wednesday, May 16 2007 

Well, Hell, the last issue of Superdrunks was a fair hit. I might as well write up the Exemplars …


Jimmy Ho
Child Kung-Fu Prodigy

Jimmy was just a dirty street kid in Hong Kong when the Drunken Master found him. Honestly, not much has changed about him, except DM has sunk a couple years into teaching Jimmy some of the most incomprehensible martial arts known to man. For his part, Jimmy’s remained the prank-loving hard-charging kid he always was, albeit now with a Hell of a left hook.

Skills Styles Attitudes
2 Acrobatics 4 Monkey Style 2 Optimistic
1 Combat Intuition 2 “Hey, where’d he go?” 1 Childish
3 Fast 1 Improvised Weaponry 3 Reckless
3 Point Out the Obvious 4 Overconfident
5 Impish

Jenny Spark
Racer Extraordinaire

Jenny Spark grew up the next house over from Billy Burner; their families had known each other for years even before they were born. It really wasn’t much of a surprise when Billy fell for Jenny’s girl-next-door charm in elementary school and they dated through High School. The only reason their relationship was broken off was that Jenny found a position working on her uncle’s pit crew and, eventually, as the primary racer on the circuit. Jenny’s racing often ends up taking her to places which coincide with trouble Billy has to deal with — much to his discomfort.

Skills Styles Attitudes
3 Drive 3 Hit It With a Wrench 4 Flexible
2 Mechanic 2 Fast-Talk 5 Cheerful
1 Research 1 Pointed Question 3 Focused
4 Race 1 Friendly
2 Understanding

Tres Armie
Destiny’s Bartender

The universe is a perverse place, perverse enough that it requires an Avatar of some inherent concepts. One of those concepts is alcohol. Avatars aren’t always extant, but their presence strengthens the concept that they’re linked to even as it provides a point of vulnerability. Tres is not Alcohol’s Avatar yet, but destiny is gathering itself around him. Almo sees it as her duty to usher him through the inevitable trials which little the path to ascention.

Skills Styles Attitudes
4 Mix Drinks 1 Simple Solutions 3 Understanding
2 Listen 2 Cut to the Chase 2 Quiet
1 Sympathy 3 Everybody’s Friend 1 Slow
3 Sense Motives 4 Kissed By Luck
5 Enhance Emotions

John Fayetteville
Third Lord of Fayetteville

Fayetteville’s family immigrated to the States not long after the state of Georgia was established and immediately invested heavily in cotton production, securing a lifestyle that provided them the luxury of clinging to aristocratic traditions and dual-citizenships for the next two hundred years. Luckily, John has inherited all the best traits of the family, an open, friendly attitude and a tendency to be able to get by on his looks — and no reluctance to do so. He still has a few old-school beliefs about privilege and law that gives some friction with his friend, the Black Swan.

Skills Styles Attitudes
1 Anticipate 4 Friends in High Places 3 Shy
2 Simplify 3 Inspirational 1 Selfless
3 Charm 1 Trustworthy 2 Sincere
2 Desperate Effort 4 Wry
5 Aristocracy

Thanks to point5bEric the .5b for this reference to something well-related to the subject, how to self-induce an alcohol coma.

Next ish, villainy!

The Superdrunks Tuesday, May 15 2007 

I’ve been sitting on this idea for too long. Unfortunately, it was originally inspired by my buddy and fellow intern, Chris Swan, over on MySpace, but …


The Superdrunks
Defenders of the Liquid in Life

Not every super-team can be the Avengers. Nor can they be the Legion of Substitute Superheroes. Sometimes the best they can hope to be is the Superdrunks, who may not be the most impressive bunch of guys, but they know how to have a good time.


Drunken Master
Master of Drunken Boxing

The Drunken Master is leader of the Superdrunks, generally because he’s the only one sober at any given time. DM’s powers originate from a self-induced state of hypnosis which mimics drunkenness without the actual toxic effects of alcohol, lending him preternatural dexterity, a truly incomprehensible gait, and inhuman resilience. Unfortunately, he also tends to speak in philosophical Oriental jibberish, making it difficult to always know his intent.

DM’s kung-fu action is mighty indeed, his inner center allowing him to put his fists in the most vulnerable areas with strange joint-aching strikes, to roll on the ground in unpredictable directions, to waver on his feet in the most elusive ways, and pop up behind a threat before they know what’s happened. He instinctively seems to know, simply by looking at it, where something or someone is most precariously balanced. Like many older men, his taste for young women is marginally unhealthy.

Powers Styles Attitudes
2 Wandering Punch 2 Unpredictable Motion 2 Sober
1 Invisible Step 5 Indirect Assault 1 Intent
3 Unstable Gaze 3 No, Behind You 4 Judgemental
4 Leadership 3 Lecherous
1 Arcane Orientalism
Drives
Justice 1
Truth 1
Love 1
Hope 3
Duty 3

Jimmy Ho
Child Kung-Fu Prodigy

“Jimmy Ho is young and promising, but he has much to learn.”

Goal: Master judges Jimmy’s education.


Billy Burner
Alcohol-Burning Cyborg

Born to a family of NASCAR enthusiasts, young Billy dreamed of being pit crew for Dale Earnhardt. When his genius with all things mechanical came out with his first high-torque engine designed in elementary school, his place in the record books was all but assured and Billy went off to Metro State University with the desire to build the fastest, loudest, most powerful funny-car of all time. Unfortunately, an accident in his senior year — possibly sabotage — cut his education short and put him on an entirely different road.

When the experimental engine Billy had on the block exploded, his body was thrown through a nearby brick wall. Mortally broken, Burner barely made it into a suit he had designed previously to keep drivers alive in the event of deadly crashes. When he came back to consciousness, Billy discovered that most of his body was useless and without significant hardware support, he was nothing but dead flesh. Turning his mind to the immediate threat, Billy replaced bits of his body with machinery, making himself into the very icon of speed he’d always wanted, all smooth curves and brightly-colored metal. Inside, he’s still a young man who wants to be normal — but not so much he’d give up his alcohol-fueled jetpack!

Powers Styles Attitudes
2 Armour 1 “It’s like a part of him.” 2 Sincere
4 3d Vision 2 Just a Blur 3 Wry Humour
1 Jetpack 3 More Machine Than Man 1 Secretly Hurting
5 Accelerated Reflexes 4 Running Out of Gas
3 Machine Interface
Drives
Justice 3
Truth 1
Love 3

Jenny Spark
Racer Extraordinaire

“I love Jenny, but she can never know who I really am.”

Goal: Jenny is about to discover something about Billy.

Hope 1
Duty 1

Almo
Spirit of Alcohol

Animists believe that everything in the universe has an animating spirit or guiding intelligence. Perhaps it was their collective desire, or maybe they’re on to an essential truth; Almo does not know. What Almo does know is that she can remember the last ten thousand years — sometimes, hazily. To suggest she spent the whole time being “drunk” is somewhat of an understatement. The naive understanding would be that she came into being with the first deliberate fermenting and has been pleasantly buzzed ever since.

Almo appears to be a young Hispanic girl of sixteen years or so, perpetually inebriated to lesser or greater degree. She never quite understood humanity outside religious rituals and bars, and often confuses life in general for a drunken brawl or party. She’s everyone’s drunk little sister, which can be a little strange when she really lets loose as an empowered ancient manifestation of physical truth. When she wills it, almost anything can burst into flames as if it were doused in pure alcohol.

Powers Styles Attitudes
3 Super-Strength 3 Casually Overpower Mortals 2 Curious
1 Intangibility 1 Misunderstand Humans 4 Cheerful
2 Flight 2 Party Drunkenly 5 Bounce!
4 Pyrokinesis 1 Cute
3 Confused
Drives
Justice 1
Truth 1
Love 1
Hope 4

Tres Armie
Bartender

“Tres is the next avatar of Alcohol, but the time is not yet right.”

Goal: Tres moves one step closer to claiming his destiny.

Duty 2

Black Swan
The Immortal Drunk

It’s said that God looks out for drunks and little children. What happens when you become aware of this seeming immortality? What if you found a way to permanently induce a state of chemical inebriation on yourself? For the Black Swan, you decide that the world needs a saviour — even if that saviour is pretty well in the bag and a bit unstable on his feet.

Having used his background in chemistry to alter his neuropeptides, Black Swan is almost entirely unstoppable, when not weaving unsteadily and peering through bleary eyes. When in the midst of combat against the evil in the world, he usually finds himself untouched amidst a pile of rubble and debris.

Powers Styles Attitudes
3 Invulnerability 5 Massive Property Damage 4 Reluctant
2 Regeneration 1 Slurred Speech 3 Jerk
1 Super-Agility 3 “I get knocked down …” 1 Confident
2 Upset People’s Plans 2 Friendly
4 Unstoppable
Drives
Justice 5

John Fayetteville
Third Lord of Fayetteville

“John is my friend, but he wants me to give up vigilanteeism.”

Goal: John confronts Swan.

Truth 1
Love 1
Hope 1
Duty 1

4356 Saturday, May 12 2007 

Mimosas. Rain. C’mon, you know you want some.

Warning, Warning Will Robinson Wednesday, May 9 2007 

Squid, Aly, and the FergIf you see these three people in a crowded concert venue, do not approach them, they are likely armed (or tentacled) and dangerous. The authorities are standing by with specific detection facilities looking for that sombrero, which, reports suggest, actually houses a complicated terrorist uplink device, allowing them to hear Saliva and/or Buckcherry remotely.

Possibly that effect is linked to the audio mixing unit cleverly concealed behind the trio, but such things have been used as a complicated method of distraction before.

Memetic Music Wednesday, May 9 2007 

Via the lovely Ferg, fellow Project Ninja, I got sucked into doing this particular meme-sheepage. Alright, really it was more curiosity what the playlist on the Redoubt would have spit out when I wasn’t looking.

Ferg:

Life soundtrack

So, here’s how it works:

1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every scene, type the song that’s playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don’t lie and try to pretend you’re cool


I’ll just use the last ten songs off the Redoubt, for even more randomness:

  • Opening Credits: Eagles – Witchy Woman
  • Waking Up: AFI – Love Like Wine
  • First Day At School: Luthor Wright and the Wrongs – In the Flesh
  • Falling in Love: Nina – 99 Luftballons
  • Fight Song: Nightwish – Creek May’s Blood
  • Breaking Up: Ookla the Mok – O Sting
  • Prom: Various – Dark Shadows Cha Cha Cha
  • Mental Breakdown: Willie Nelson – If You Want Me to Love You, I Will
  • Driving: Michael Giacchino – Missile Lock
  • Flashback: Roger Hoover and the Whiskeyhounds – Blueberry Wine
  • Getting Back Together: Lawrence Arms – On With the Show
  • Wedding: Nightwish – Phantom of the Opera
  • Birth of Child: The Misfits – Vampira
  • Final Battle: Deep Purple – Hush
  • Death Scene: Mendozza – Eternal Battle
  • Funeral Song: The Meteors – If You Don’t Wanna Fuck Me, Baby, Fuck Off
  • End Credits: Deep Purple – Speed King

The irony illuminated in some of these answers is incalculable.

Having sunk so much effort into writing this up, now it has to go on my blog. Damn you, woman!

And there you have it. I don’t get the Witchy Woman thing, either.

Outlands Saturday, May 5 2007 

If anyone wants to see me today, I’ll be in Alpharetta at the On the Border with Project961′s live broadcast, and after that, down at the Tabernacle. Look for the squid in the grey Project shirt!

Part of the Solution Tuesday, May 1 2007 

I am:
91%
Republican.
“You’re the perfect sycophant of the Republican elite. Tom DeLay and Karl Rove would be utterly proud of you.”

Are You A Republican?

Actually, I’d chew up DeLay and Rove and spit them into the weeds, given my generally militarist bent and preference for a dismantling of the Federal State almost in toto save for that which can’t be effectively managed at a State level, like killing the screaming millions who’d rather I were dead and … no, that’s really about it that a free market and Federalist decentralization can’t cover. And given the right iron fist, I could probably effectively privatize military operations.

Yes, dealing with “young broadcast professionals” on an ongoing basis has reminded me how much I despise people with a grasp of neither logistics nor history. You can pretty much forget physics, elementary engineering, or free-market economics.

Only mildly bitter today.

Daemonology Wednesday, Apr 25 2007 

Well, I can blame relevantpinkrelevant pink for providing the link, right? Right?

Logos Saturday, Apr 21 2007 

OK, there are times I feel vaguely proud. In this case, it’s because I can be a darn clever Squid Demon on occasion.

Yesterday, the tech guy at the Project was hacking at a logo for the new show on the station, PunkRockalypse, hosted by Amy Dumas, as I mentioned in my previous post. The PD and he agreed on a font and general design, but frankly I was vaguely dissatisfied with the final result, myself, since it inverted the Project logo colours and just didn’t scale well at the resolution he had it at. Being the obsessive-compulsive bastard I am, I mulled it over on the way home and considered what I’d change, then dragged up Illustrator and did some tinkering. When I was done, I sent the result over to the guy who was twiddling it this afternoon.

Today, I logged in and poked around the links to discover — my logo was the one up on the new MySpace page.

I’m vaguely proud of the fact I’ve developed alternate skills that come in useful on occasion.

All For One, Me Wednesday, Apr 18 2007 

You scored as Edmund Dantes. You are Edmund Dantes, the Count of Monte Cristo. Somewhere in your past you have been wronged, and your desire for revenge is dangerously high. Your love life is intense and passionate, but fraught with past tragedies.

Edmund Dantes

90%

Richelieu

80%

D’Artagnan

70%

Mercedes

65%

Rochefort

60%

Aramis

60%

Athos

55%

Porthos

40%

Which Dumas character are you? (pics)
created with QuizFarm.com

The contradiction between being Dantes or Richelieu is amusingly close at hand. “You’re either a revenge-obsessed madman, or a power-obsessed madman, we can’t decide!”

Mana-Charged Saturday, Apr 14 2007 

Blame creativedv8tionFeck Me, I’m Irish


Take the Magic: The Gathering ‘What Color Are You?’ Quiz.

Well, don’t blame him for my Black addiction. I vaguely miss playing my Black & White deck, geared solely to dinking around with HP directly. Wonderful design in Three-Headed Giant games …

Ninja Magick Friday, Apr 13 2007 

See the PowerOver to the right is the location I spent a good five hours this afternoon in.

No, that’s not a far messier version of the SquidLair, it’s Project961‘s editing studio, right on the other side of a clear glass partition from the live broadcast booth, where Lita (Amy Dumas) was in the studio chatting up Chris Williams.

But that wasn’t why I was there in the middle of the afternoon.

Around 3.30p, Knox gave me a call on the red line, and asked if I had anything going on. Now, given that I was lounging around in pyjamas and watching the Janice Dickerson Modeling Agency marathon, I couldn’t exactly say I was swamped in work, but he wanted me to actually physically manifest down at the studio, which was complicated given there wasn’t anyone handy at hand to dress me. But a little problem like being a horrifying physical and psychological mutant wasn’t going to stop me, so I summoned up resources, called in favours, and got out the door in about 30min.

(Incidentally, shaving myself … a no-go. If I could reach the right side of my neck, though, I’d be golden. Life, thou taunt me.)

So, down to the studio the Kowai hurtled, at no point breaking either the sound or light barriers.

Once I got there, it was revealed that the audio tech had gone on vacation before creating the CDs for this weekend’s Steeplechase tent. So, I needed to pull the tracks off the NexGen system, realtime, normalize them, grab sliders, normalize them, take Aly‘s announcement bit for the tent (which I ran over with a couple filters because the volume was inconsistent and it needed a little ambiance), and put the whole thing together into a 2 CD set that was good to go and sounded right.

I think they were mildly surprised when I broke out my own wireless mouse from my omnipresent backpack, threw it on the floor for my toes, and set to without asking much in the way of HowTo. I mean, this is me, how complicated can a distributed ap running several radio stations and Adobe Audition be? After some initial technical issues (not my fault, I promise), I settled on basically just mixing two long single-track CDs just as if I were putting together a podcast. I settled in the fades, appropriate overlaps, etc.

I also lurked around in the broadcast booth a little bit while CDs burned or large groups of things normalized. If you were listening to the Project tonight and heard a random twisted and glutinous snicker, that was probably me, peering at the editing suite live in production.

I’m such a geek.

On the up-side, looks like I’m pretty much likely to be a solid, responsible Project Ninja mostly apprenticed to the guy that does their editing and station imaging for multiple stations. When, y’know, he gets back from vacation.

Survivalism Tuesday, Apr 10 2007 

Motley Crue Short version: I survived. And they even let me have a piece of paper that says so.

Somewhat longer version: I’m now the proud owner of a diploma in basic and advanced broadcasting and announcing from the Atlanta Broadcast Institute. At no point did I actually kill anyone, despite any overwhelming desire to do same, nor did I actually burst into flame and immolate, despite it being suggested that I could really use a Valium. The 60min radio show we had as a final actually went off without even the slightest hitch, which I can only lay at the feet of obsessive and hyper-aggressive pre-planning and the truly lazy geek’s helper, not over-rehearsing.

There are a few pictures from the graduation, but unfortunately, power to the camera died before more than just a few basic shots could be grabbed. Despite that, somehow I managed to be in a couple of them.

Bugger.

Tomorrow, I’m headed down to Project961 with Swan and Speir to see if they’ll actually accept me as an intern. (“The 35 Year Old Intern” sounds like a movie title.) Hopefully, they will and I can start memorizing the manual for the NexGen VoiceTRACing system they use to semi-automate the station.If anyone can become familiar with a complicated, interlaced, multi-node distributed audio database in under three days, it’s me. Who’s better qualified? Besides, the thing’s built on Novel Netware 6.5. How complicated can it be, with a retro underpinning like that? Novel is migrating to SuSE Linux, itself, so I’m already positioned ahead of the curve …

Regardless, we’ll see if I get on. Could be you’ll be hearing me on broadcast radio in under 6 months. Not bad for a guy going through the equivalent of a midlife crisis without the 20 year old models, right? (The sports car, I already have.)

Heroism Tuesday, Apr 10 2007 

I am heroic couplets; most precise
And fond of order. Planned and structured. Nice.
I know, of course, just what I want; I know,
As well, what I will do to make it so.
This doesn’t mean that I attempt to shun
Excitement, entertainment, pleasure, fun;
But they must keep their place, like all the rest;
They might be good, but ordered life is best.

What Poetry Form Are You?

Really, I need to post something, eventually.

Apocalypse in Atlantic Station Saturday, Mar 31 2007 

So, yeah. Next week is finals for me, with Rolling Radio being spread over two days of frenzied nightmares and the video editing project being up as well.

That last is of interest because I finished it, already. Mind you, I did something slightly … unexpected.

The assignment:

Take this pile of stock footage shot in Atlantic Station. Put together a video with at least a 60sec voice over and a background audio track that comes up and down as appropriate under at least one interview. For extra credit, do a stand-up intro for the piece (you may borrow one of the school’s cameras to do so).

Obviously, what they expected was a sort of dynamic, upbeat commercial insert for Atlantic Station.

What they will get is pointedly not what they expected.

I fear my sense of humour is dangerously perverse.

Oh, the Pain! Thursday, Mar 29 2007 

Oh, this pains me, I love it so. And you pretty much have to be a joint Ender’s Game / SysAdmin to really feel this one hit home.

Ouch.

Commercial Endorsement Sunday, Mar 25 2007 

It’s far, far easier to write about things you care about. When they dropped the bomb that I’d need a 60sec commercial for my rolling radio show, I first thought I’d do a Google ad, with the repeated cry, “Ask Google!” but, having awakened with only slightly bleary eyes and only a hint of rattle in my chest, I saw a pollen count reading on TV (5,347) and thought to myself:

Man, I’m glad I have Zyrtec.

Therein spun inspiration.

Plus, I get to make a circuitous, indirect reference to tree bukkake while playing the Circle Jerks. Does it get any better?

Long Day of the Dire Thursday, Mar 22 2007 

I’m well aware I haven’t posted much of late. I just haven’t had the time or energy; the most I hope for most days is a few Twitter updates.

Today was — a day. The before-lunch class was interesting. We had Stuart Culpepper teach a voice class. Yes, that’s an IMDB link. You’ve heard the voice before; if you’ve heard the national ads for QT that mention “cap-u-chino” and any of several thousand other national commercials.

Yes, he’s one of those voices. I made him say “in a world …” for me.

He was teaching our voice acting class.

Then there was lunch and Lisa Love shambled in for the latter half of the day. Of course, no one, including her, had any idea what we were doing and 1.5hr of my 2hr class day pretty much was eaten up by fiddling about with an utterly unreasonable in-class critique which finally got shaken down into something humanly comprehensible, which I then hammered hard because I didn’t have to be my own board op.

I despise board ops. If anything, board ops have convinced me I simply do not want to go into radio jocking. I despise the mixing board with the raging fire of a thousand Kryptonian red suns. I can talk on the mic all day. I can do traffic and weather and sound utterly comfortable. I managed to hit the doughnut ad (an ad which has music/vocals pre-recorded with a hole in the middle for the jock to read copy into) dead on with only one brief, half-heard run-through of the underlying bit the first time, with perfect timing.

I’m good at reading things. I’m excellent at energy and clarity. I’m kind of half-suck at adlibs, of all things. And wretchedly, horrifically, Terrible [-2] at board ops.

I was happy to have Chris do it for me.

Lately, I’ve been feeling the rather loosely held mask of humanity slip a bit at class as irritations and frustrations start piling up like corpses or dead-wood. I’ve been mostly-human so far pretty successfully; only a few odd, random comments about eating babies or the like, hardly worth mentioning. As we get down to the wire, though, I can feeling little bits of crystalline rage building up and lodging in my gullet, just waiting for the right moment to poke out through my skin and revel the depth of my distaste for the bulk of those around me at just the wrong moment.

It doesn’t help that I have a 60minute rolling radio show that I’m Co-Producer, Segment Director, and Traffic / Weather for. Thank Hades the rest of my team for that little project is folk I can pretty much count on. I can only imagine the obsessive nightmare I’d be suffering were I to feel I had to cover someone else’s work on. With John doing News Director, Chris on the Music Direction / Main Talent, Latoria as Board Op, and Nadia as the logging Producer, I at least know I can count on them to do their jobs.

(You’ll note how cleverly I arranged to only have 4min of live air out of 60min; this is called “wisdom.”)

At this point, I just don’t know where things are going with this madness. I have to figure out where I want to intern, very soon, and I’m torn between Total Traffic / Metro Traffic, and going big and trying to get on at CNN / Turner as a video editor or teleprompter operator. If I go radio, there’s a really good chance I’ll be able to jump up to some kind of on-air talent eventually, especially given my love for big tech and the proliferation of satellite radio and HD. If I go TV, I’d be aiming to get into back-end post-production. Hell, I already have experience with Adobe After Effects, and that’s on my own time.

So, yeah. Not sure where I want to go with things, which probably explains the scattered nature of this post. tryptophanHeather would probably diagnose me as being in the down-phase of my latent mild personality disorder, leading to irritability and frustration. I would be hard-pressed to argue.

Ah, life. How thou art complex to me.

Squid’s Redoubt Top Ten Podcast #32: Hair Metal Heaven Sunday, Mar 18 2007 

chris1979the lightbringer sponsored this podcast, requesting the Definitive Hair Metal Playlist. While this one might not be definitive, it may be my best podcast ever.

Squid’s Redoubt Top Ten Podcast #32: Hair Metal Heaven

New Media Empires Friday, Mar 16 2007 

Blame stellabambinoStarchild for turning me on to this, but looks like Channel 101 and Channel 102 have actually gone pseudo-mainstream with a new show on VH1 called:

Acceptable.tv

The premise is rather keen; essentially, it’s the same schtick as the usual Channels, just with a veneer of Standards & Practices laid over the top. Even so, there’s a huge opportunity here to get into the running and get your name out into the public eye.

Plus, they have a really neat ID card on your personal profile page that I kind of wish I could get as a real press/production ID on a lanyard.

I cam do something with this.

Squid’s Redoubt Top Ten Podcast #32: Crazy Time! Thursday, Mar 15 2007 

The “Crazy Time!” podcast is up on Archive; they’ll generate derivative versions of the MP3 over the next couple hours.

By popular request, the next one’ll be “Definitive Hair Metal!” All track suggestions will be entertained, just reply to this blog post with them. It’ll help a lot to make sure the Redoubt actually has them before you start, notably.

Traffic With the Squid Wednesday, Mar 14 2007 

They made the mistake of giving us our Traffic Report assignment today … for the final.

Write and produce two 60sec traffic segments for WABI radio, including your choice of bed music and a billboarded sponsor. The end should be a weather segment of about 20sec in length and appropriately targeted for the AM or PM cycle.

And that’s it.

As a hint, you should never give me an assignment that open-ended, because I can and will do bad things. Like go home and do the whole thing in under an hour.

Here are the bits. A Geek No-Prize to the first one not stellabambinoStarchild to pick-up the horrid WWII in-joke in there and explain it.

Could you trust a voice that takes so much relish in death and destruction?

(It’s a measure of personal pride that both of them come to a few hundredths of a second of 60sec.)


In semi-related radio training news, I was assigned by the most arrogant and self-involved person I’ve ever met (Jon Lewis, strangely, I like him) to be one of the two sports news guys on our 9min radio production today. Somewhat cruelly, he also picked the only other person in the room who had no interest in sports to be my co-host.

Then he handed me 9 pages of articles to cull 1min 30sec out of.

Broke out the scissors to cut the things up, then pasted useful paras together, and built a two-man sports show from the fragment.

The sad thing is … it was fun. Sports copy is just fun to read because it’s so bombastic and over the top. I got to break out my bouncy, energetic voice for it. You’d almost believe I knew what I was talking about.

No recording of this broadcast, sorry. I’m sure I’ll have to record a sports show for a final at some pont. You’ll hear it here, first.

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